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Hey guys, I just thought I would get on here and clear some things up. I don't even know how many people still care about me on here or even took a notice I was gone. But I just thought I would let whoever is reading this why I haven't been on.
I just couldn't handle it anymore, this site and these fandoms. The stress was to much for me. I know I always lied and said I was okay. That the ocean of haters and the hateclub people formed about me wasn't bother me and I was fine. But I wasn't. It was eating me up inside and slowly destroying me. I wasn't feeling good, I was sick, and over stressed, and miserable. Maybe it was my fault, I don't know.
But it was just to much for me. I couldn't live like that. This is why I left the Hetalia fandom and had to get off here.
I never wanted to hurt anyone, I never did. But nobody ever took the time to ask me or get to know me or why I said these things. I deal with depression and anxiety. My temper comes from me being angry at myself and never having any people to really talk to about it; it all just boilers over. And all the hate and threats and death wishes never helped that. It just made me worse. it kept getting worse and worse and worse. I wasn't me anymore.
I get on here and I still have people mentioning me in comments, and they are not bringing me up nicely. Getting on here today people are still talking about me hatefully.
So that is why I ran away from here, to start all over again and try to forget. A new fandom, new people. All of the past erased. For people to not see me and know me from rumors and hateful things. I don't want to be remembered as 'that b*tch'. I just...want to be me.
It was scared as hell at first. Nobody knowing you, not knowing anyone. I didn't know what to do or what to say or how to act. I was stressing out again, shutting myself off and not trusting anyone. I didn't want to be hurt like this again. I wouldn't be able to take it again. But as months past I finally found the fandom I needed, and it led to many others. I have friends who are truly helping me through my depression and anxiety. It is slow, but I am working through it. But I am feeling better and....I am happy.
I wanted to let anyone here who still cares know this. And if you do want to know me and speak to me, please message me and I'll happily tell you my tumblr. I don't want to post it, afraid people I don't want to follow me to follow me.
I just couldn't handle it anymore, this site and these fandoms. The stress was to much for me. I know I always lied and said I was okay. That the ocean of haters and the hateclub people formed about me wasn't bother me and I was fine. But I wasn't. It was eating me up inside and slowly destroying me. I wasn't feeling good, I was sick, and over stressed, and miserable. Maybe it was my fault, I don't know.
But it was just to much for me. I couldn't live like that. This is why I left the Hetalia fandom and had to get off here.
I never wanted to hurt anyone, I never did. But nobody ever took the time to ask me or get to know me or why I said these things. I deal with depression and anxiety. My temper comes from me being angry at myself and never having any people to really talk to about it; it all just boilers over. And all the hate and threats and death wishes never helped that. It just made me worse. it kept getting worse and worse and worse. I wasn't me anymore.
I get on here and I still have people mentioning me in comments, and they are not bringing me up nicely. Getting on here today people are still talking about me hatefully.
So that is why I ran away from here, to start all over again and try to forget. A new fandom, new people. All of the past erased. For people to not see me and know me from rumors and hateful things. I don't want to be remembered as 'that b*tch'. I just...want to be me.
It was scared as hell at first. Nobody knowing you, not knowing anyone. I didn't know what to do or what to say or how to act. I was stressing out again, shutting myself off and not trusting anyone. I didn't want to be hurt like this again. I wouldn't be able to take it again. But as months past I finally found the fandom I needed, and it led to many others. I have friends who are truly helping me through my depression and anxiety. It is slow, but I am working through it. But I am feeling better and....I am happy.
I wanted to let anyone here who still cares know this. And if you do want to know me and speak to me, please message me and I'll happily tell you my tumblr. I don't want to post it, afraid people I don't want to follow me to follow me.
Need to post this
I just spend an hour trying to get the courage to look at my comments, because I was so afraid hate was in them. I spent an hour writing this reply to send to someone if there was hate. But when I looked there wasn't any hate, so that made me feel better....but I still feel like I need to say this, I need to get it off my chest. I have so much stuff to get off my chest I've kept in. I have kept so much stuff in over the years I feel like now I need to let it out piece at a time. So here is the reply I wrote:
You know what I can’t keep hiding and running from you or anyone else anyone. I can’t, I won’t. So let me tell you so
BOTFA came out today!
We may see it tomorrow. Omg I am so scared, my nerves are a wreck, I am going to be a wreck.
My heart will not come back from this unbroken, I am not going to be the same as I once was.
*wraps Bilbo and the Durins in a blanket* I will keep you safe and happy,I love you so much my precious babies.
I love them so much
You guys know how much I loved FrUk, we all know that.
Well take that and times it by 100 and that is how much I love Bagginshield.
~cryforeverplz (https://www.deviantart.com/cryforeverplz) I love them so much, you have no idea. My babies, my precious babies. ;_;
I won't be suriving this movie.
FIVE MORE DAYS UNTIL I DIE
TRuE LoVE
*sobs* Richard Armitage is killing me with all these quotes about Bilbo and Thorin. And now he says 'there is a real TRUE LOVE between them' just bury me, because I am dead.
© 2015 - 2024 InvaderPumpkinQueen
Comments2
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I have left the Hetalia fandom a loooooong time ago too because of the fandom :c i understand how you feel, this is awful
welcome back ^^
welcome back ^^